For many who have ADHD, taking things personally can feel like a daily struggle.
Our brains are wired to be more sensitive to external stimuli, including social cues, comments, and feedback. This heightened sensitivity often leads to overthinking, magnifying even the smallest remarks, and interpreting them as criticism or personal attacks.
For example, if someone makes a casual remark about needing to improve the team's productivity, we might internalise this as a personal failure, even if it wasn’t directed at us specifically.
One reason is emotional dysregulation, a common challenge for people with ADHD. Our
emotional responses are often more intense, which means a minor comment or
misunderstanding can feel overwhelming. We may ruminate over the perceived slight,
replaying conversations and imagining worst-case scenarios. This, combined with a natural
tendency to seek approval or avoid rejection, can make us more vulnerable to taking things
to heart.
Taking things personally can lead to feelings of self-doubt, low self-esteem, and anxiety. It
can affect relationships, as we may become defensive or withdraw from situations to avoid
perceived criticism. Over time, this pattern can contribute to negative thought cycles, further
reinforcing the belief that we are constantly being judged or criticised.
To combat this tendency, the first step is awareness. Recognising when you’re taking
something personally can help you pause and reflect. Ask yourself, "Is this really about me?"
Often, people's comments or behaviours are more about their own state of mind than a
reflection of your worth.
Reframing the situation can also be helpful. Instead of assuming the worst, try to view
feedback or remarks in a more neutral light. Practising mindfulness and emotional regulation
techniques, such as deep breathing or journaling, can also help you process emotions more
calmly.
Finally, self-compassion is key. Remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes, and not
every comment or action is a reflection of who you are. By fostering a kinder relationship
with yourself, you’ll find it easier to let go of perceived slights and build stronger emotional
resilience.
ADHD coaching can be especially helpful in protecting our emotional well-being. It offers
personalised support to recognise and manage emotional responses, build resilience, and
improve communication skills. With tailored guidance, coaching can make it easier to
navigate challenges, feel more in control, and cultivate healthier relationships.
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